Freewrite5: Contra-poem

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Freewrite5: Contra-poem Empty Freewrite5: Contra-poem

Post  LEit on Tue Nov 16, 2010 1:00 pm

The sun
blazing overhead
warms me
as I sip my cool water from the steel bottle.

It tastes funny.
I take another sip
and lay it on the table
so I can bask in radioactivity.

It makes big problems,
that stuff.
But it’s okay;
It’s a million miles away.

I lift my bottle to the sky
to drink the last drop
when I see
the mold at the bottom laughing at me.

The mold in the bottom of my water bottle.
Spider webs

The sun
Eating a Cinnabon on the back porch in Hawaii.


Posts : 21
Join date : 2010-09-19

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Freewrite5: Contra-poem Empty Re: Freewrite5: Contra-poem

Post  MaryShelley on Thu Dec 16, 2010 3:45 pm

sadly my early post got erased or something! upon close reading, this is a nifty poem, carefully crafted and curious in its presentation of two different views (of the bottom of the water bottle and the sun in the sky) that are both in some ways painful. i distinctly remember suggesting you clean your water bottle w white vinegar...
the other thing is the voice of the speaker, it's so You.


Posts : 55
Join date : 2010-09-17

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